Rebuilding Belonging in a Lonely Age

Written By Lindsay Andrews

Creating What Is Missing

A Monthly Publication of the Church Ambassador Network

We live in an era of unprecedented "connectivity" that has somehow left us more isolated than ever before.

We can track a package across the globe in real-time, yet many of us couldn't name the person living three doors down. We have digital "communities" for every niche hobby, yet our physical pews often feel like a collection of polite strangers.

Look out at the landscape of Ohio from the revitalization of our urban centers to the quiet stretches of our rural counties. Are you struck by something desperately missing, something that cannot be bought with a government grant or legislated into existence by the General Assembly? Can you see it?

What is missing is the pace of being known.

The 3 MPH God

In the powerful documentary Godspeed: The Pace of Being Known, we follow the journey of Matt Canlis, a pastor who moved from the fast-paced life of a suburban American church to a small parish in Scotland. He quickly realized that his "60-mile-per-hour" pastoral strategy was useless in a place where people lived at a human scale. To truly pastor his people, he had to learn to walk the parish.

The late Eugene Peterson, who features prominently in the film, offers a profound insight that should arrest every one of us:

"Jesus is the way as well as the truth and the life. And if we don't do it His way, we mess up the truth and we miss out on the life. And His way was a walking way. God walks at about three miles an hour. That’s the pace of a human being. And if we’re going faster than that, we’re not with Him." (Eugene Peterson,Godspeed, 2017).

We are trying to love our neighbors at highway speeds, but the soul cannot be known at 70 mph.

The Myth of the Digital Village

For the last decade, we were told that the internet would be our new "public square." Instead, it has become a digital coliseum where we tear one another down from behind glowing screens. We have traded the "thick" relationships of the backyard fence for the "thin" outrages of the social media feed.

The result?

A loneliness epidemic that is literally killing our people. When a young mother in your congregation struggles with postpartum depression, an encouraging "like" on her post is no substitute for a neighbor bringing over a hot meal. 

As Rosaria Butterfield piercingly observes in her book on radically ordinary hospitality:

"Radically ordinary hospitality is this: using your Christian home in a daily way that seeks to make strangers into neighbors, and neighbors into family of God." (Rosaria Butterfield,The Gospel Comes with a House Key, 2018, p. 31).

InActs 2:44-46, we see a community that was "together and had all things in common." They didn't just share a creed; they shared their lives, their meals, and their physical space. They were a neighborhood in the truest sense of the word.

The Challenge: Creating the "Third Space"

Our challenge is to move people beyond "commuter Christianity." We need to foster what sociologists call "Third Spaces"—places outside of home and work where people can truly be known. In the context of the church, this means creating structures that encourage our members to live near one another, shop at one another's businesses, and take ownership of their specific streets to intentionally build authentic and lasting relationships.

Practical Steps for the Ohio Pastor

How do we begin creating this missing piece of our culture?

  • Preach a Theology of Neighborhood: Remind your people that the "least of these" and their "neighbor" are often the people they pass every morning in their driveway.

  • Encourage Proximity: When young families in your church ask for advice on where to buy a home, encourage them to look near other church members. Imagine the power of a single neighborhood where four or five families are committed to sharing the Gospel.

  • Reclaim the Public Square: The world needs more pastors who aren't just seen in the pulpit, but are regularly “out visiting the parish” and engaged with the leaders and needs of their local community.

The world is starving for belonging. If we can create communities where people are truly seen, known, and loved—not for their "brand" but for their status as image-bearers of God—we will offer a witness that no secular ideology can match.

Let’s stop just "attending" church and start being the church in and for our neighborhoods.

Join the Movement

Citations:

The Church Ambassador Network is a ministry of Center for Christian Virtue. They exist to serve and resource the Church in Ohio to understand the times and know how to respond. Read more about their mission at ccv.org/can.

Lindsay Andrews
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